© 2009 Vinny Ribas

 

Times change. Circumstances change. Feelings change. Priorities get re-arranged. Change is inevitable, and no force of nature, willpower or human endeavor can prevent it from happening. 

 

Sometimes it is easy to go with the flow when things change. The progression seems natural and logical, and the results are unobtrusive. Like the flow from one season to another, no one is surprised or taken back by the new surroundings. No one gets hurt or upset. The change just happens, and everyone and everything remains at peace with it.

 

Obviously, there are other times when change is radical, extreme and unexpected. It can be surprisingly good (e.g. winning the lottery) or devastatingly bad (e.g. losing your job). Good or bad, it can rock even the most stable and well-grounded individual.

 

Then there is the kind of change that we know in our hearts must occur, yet for some reason, we refuse to let go of it. There is certain kind of peace in what has been our comfort zone. And even if it is no longer ‘comfortable’, we often choose to hang on just a little bit longer than we probably should. One example of this is not quitting what we know is a dead-end job. Another is staying in a poor and/or unhealthy relationship. One more might be constantly complaining and comparing your new situation to your old situation instead of embracing the changes that have occurred and using the new opportunities to expand your horizons. I have to believe that we are all guilty of this kind of thinking or behavior at one time or another. 

 

Why do we have such a tendency to hold on tightly to the past? For some, it is simply the fear of change. For others it might be the unwillingness to start over. Others fear losing something they have or have had in the past. And still others just need to be in control of their lives all of the time, and having to change might mean relinquishing some of that control. Some people hold on to the past for dear life, swinging from the thinnest remaining thread if necessary. Others let things go very slowly and deliberately. Others are willing to draw the line and leave the past behind them, anxious to embark on new adventures. 

 

These are all common human reactions. The challenge comes when holding on too long to the past slows down our forward progress. Those constant comparisons to “how it used to be” can suck the life out of otherwise new and exciting situations. Those threads of the past that we hang on to so dearly could be tying up time, money and energy that should be spent on building our futures.

 

Take a quick inventory of your surroundings. Notice the keepsakes that you have. Most of them will be important and represent positive times in your past. Check to see if there are any that you should let go of once and for all. Are there people you still feel emotionally connected to who are no longer positive influences in your life? Make a mental checklist of the thoughts and emotions from the past that you still drag around behind you like oversized baggage. Are there any that it is time to break free from? Think about how making a clean break and a fresh start might help your current situation and your future. 

 

There is almost a ‘high’ that comes from letting go. It is an overwhelming feeling of relief. You can feel a huge weight being lifted off of your shoulders. Most importantly, you now have the capacity to embrace the future will all of that passion and emotion that was monopolized by the past and now has suddenly been freed up!